Justice Prevail for Morons

Posted by lionel319 @ Mon 27 Feb, 06, 10:26AM under Article

'Justice' In America - The Stella Awards for 2006

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards. It
is named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and
successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the
most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO...

5TH PLACE

(TIED): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms. Robertson' son.

5TH PLACE

(TIED): 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5TH PLACE

(TIED): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving
the house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not
able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting
the house and garage had locked when he pulled it shut.The family was on
vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He
sued the homeowners insurance, claiming the situation caused him undue
mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of$500,000.

4TH PLACE

: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's beagle dog. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might
have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams, who had climbed
over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3RD PLACE

: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument

2ND PLACE

: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club
in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was
trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1ST PLACE

: This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home.
On his trip home from an Oklahoma University football game, having driven
onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not
surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski
sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not
actually do this.
The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in
case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational
vehicle.

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